"Oh yes, we need a Chauncey Gardener. Right this very minute!"

Remember Peter Sellers' final role as the displaced, simpleton gardener, Chauncey in "Being There"? The hapless Chauncey Gardner then stumbled into a America's ultimate network of political and economic power and instantly became the ultimate pundit on America's economic crisis of the time. Chauncey soothed our national fears with simple, understandable and positive references to his only base of knowledge - gardening.

With the news media mongering economic fear on a non-stop basis, it is high time to reintroduce Mr. Chauncey Gardner to talk some solid, economic sense to America, just as he did so skillfully when the country was mired in economic woes back in 1979. I cite:

The President (to Chauncey): "Do you agree that we can stimulate the economy with temporary
incentives?"

Chauncey: "As long as the roots are not severed, all is well. And all will be well in the garden."

The President: "The....garden?"

Chauncey: "Yes. In the garden, growth has it's seasons. First comes spring and summer, then we have fall and winter. Then comes spring and summer again."

National Economic Adviser (Benjamin Rand): "I think what our insightful young friend is saying is that we welcome the inevitable change of seasons on nature - but we're upset at the seasons of our economy."

Chauncey: "Yes, there will be growth in the spring."

President: "I must admit, that is one of the most refreshing and optimistic statements I heard in a very long time.......that's exactly what we lack on Capitol Hill!"

The next challenge will be to get Chauncey Gardner a guest shot on "Nightly News"!

In the meantime, keep your economic chins up, America!

This is The Count......out.